This is a publication written by Saminu Abass popularly known as Mr Possible, the content creator at SABTrends’ Blog (www.sabtrends.com) edited by Adisat Aminat Olabisi also known as Prudence a law student of the prestigious faculty of law, Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU). This topic, “Where are the potential women leaders of this country?” is published to tackle the menace and ugly situation facing many potential ladies whom bright futures have been truncated.
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Women are simply adult female. Women as my people will say, they are salt, sugar and honey of this world. Where an association or group exists and no woman is found then such might be said to be incomplete. I adore women a lot because I have mother, sisters and friends as woman. Woman, I define as a delicate part of human existence which must be treated with care. There is also a popular saying that goes thus; behind a successful man there must be a woman which shows how powerful and important these women are. To become a woman, it has transformational stages which start from birth and ends with death. The chain of transformation changes gradually from being a girl child to being a lady and then womanhood. Succinctly put, (Girl -> Lady -> Woman)
However, these stages involve myriad of development, happenings, teachings and other things. If qualitative teachings and lessons of each step are being missed then there is surely going to be problems for such individual as well as the society. The first stage (girl child) is the stage where adequate and vital upbringing must be done by parents such as quality education, moral value, moral lessons and other teachings, this stage is very important and pertinent as any failure may cause a future problem for the child and the society at large.
In addition, the second stage is the transformation from girl to lady. At this stage, the maturity senses and reasonings become their pride. This is a stage in which many ladies feel it is the time to enjoy their own lives. They believe it is the best moment and period of their lives because it is at this age that the beauty, blessings, endowment and other gifts given to them by God can be showcased. Contrary to the assumption of many ladies this stage is the most delicate period or stage of any lady’s life. Whoever misuses this golden period might have a negative life to live later as this is the adolescent period. Thereafter, the stage of womanhood comes which is the aftermath of either a well brought up adolescent stage or otherwise. The question I ask myself everyday is where are the potential women leader of this noble nation?
This question has been bothering my mind day in day out as a living soul on this earth. I contemplate whether or not we still have women leaders in this part of the world (Nigeria)? Are there still charismatic and prominent women to be called leaders? The depreciation in the standard of women folks make me doubt if today’s women can be potential leaders of tomorrow. Notwithstanding, there is a woman leader I value and cherish not because of anything but for her milestone achievement irrespective of ‘gender favouritism’: She is Dr Mrs Okonjo Iweala, I may not like her but her achievement is something to be proud of as a Nigerian. Dr Okonjo Iweala worked at International Monetary Fund as one of the key personnel in World Bank; although that is not what I really cherish about her. The audacity and boldness she took then to contest to become the No 1 person in that institution but unfortunately she could not emerge as the President of International Monetary Fund. There are many other women in this country and other neighbouring countries which had shown that being a woman can never stop any milestone achievement you wish to attain. We are all proud of these women not because of anything but the achievements they have made.
It is a pity today; things have changed in the reverse order. As stated, if any of the above stages, is not well managed there is bound to be a problem. Many parents today have taken the caring of their female child as less important. The popular words they chant is; “live your life and let me live mine; I can’t die because of any child”. The rate at which ladies of nowadays are being maltreated is alarming. The improper and poorly-built background of these female children will surely have effect on their future most likely negative impact.
Though, there are still some of these ladies who are determined, focused and pursue their dreams, it is very saddened that 70% of them pursue a blank dream. My views will be analysed below.
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Firstly, looking from the educational perspective, many ladies nowadays have slimed chances to further to tertiary education be it (University, Polytechnics, or Colleges of Education). I kept wondering why parents will deliberately deny their female children the opportunity to learn further and boost their bright future. Though, some parents are unable and incapacitated to send their daughters to tertiary institutions as a result of poverty. Aside being poor, there are some parents who are financially average who can send their daughters to tertiary institutions despite the fact that those parents can afford the continuity of the education of their daughters yet they refuse to thereby denying their daughters the opportunity to attend higher institution.
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Perhaps, these parents have no faith in the future, no determination and think the current condition they are is permanent. Female child with this kind of parent suffers series of hardship ranging from maltreatment, lack quality education, psychological abuse, unwanted pregnancy and so on.
Furthermore, some sets of parents are serious and ready to finance their female child education but unfortunately these children lack serious and zeal to excel. Their lives end most time when they are impregnated
Can we really say the world is going to an end? Though, many people say it is one of the signs of the last hours. It is no more news that many ladies walk around naked and don’t even feel ashamed at all which means that sense of dignity and modesty is no more there. Since uncovering vital parts of their body is no more big deal then getting pregnant is also no big deal. It seems like a joke but it is not a joke at all. It is a pity that today even a 10 years old daughter can be impregnated. Their mode of dressing is nothing to write about to the extent that rape has become the order of the day because men can no longer hold themselves as a result of the free of charge nakedness they see every moment, the temptation has become unbearable although this is no license for them to showcase the beast in them but the question is “who is to be blamed for the rape?”
Another unfortunate habit of these days is that, these young ladies at even primary level have boyfriends. Let’s assume a young lady from the first set of parent discussed above has a boyfriend whose parents are rich then won’t he use little amount as a prey to have sex with her? Another irritating one is that of an adult man at age of 40 or 50 raping young ladies for a 5 to 10 minutes satisfaction. Pitiable enough, I read a headline recently where a pastor of 50+ years said he only slept with a lady of age 13 just once not five times as claimed by the little lady. Can you imagine this? Where is the world going?
No doubt about it, women are the salt and honey of the world but are these young beautiful ladies potential salt and honey of this universe? The answer is left for you my dear sisters, brothers, fathers and mothers reading this article. At the tender age of 20 you have already given birth to 2 children then what plan do you even have for yourself let alone the kids you forcefully and unlawfully called to this world untimely. In those days, before you can even know the word ‘boyfriend’ you must have obtained your O’level certificate let alone having sex with opposite sex but the reverse is the case in this 21st century of ours. Where are we going in this country? I feel ashamed and sorry for these young ladies at that tender age moving around with pregnancy. You feel sorry for the parent of such daughter or the man who impregnated her.
Your daughter is a special gift from God, a gift given to any parent as a joy. For this pertinent reason, the gift should not be rendered useless, misused, wasted or maltreated. A child should be given basic things to help her becomes something useful rather than become a liability in the society. It saddens my heart seeing many parents these days forgetting the blessed gifts given to them by Almighty God are special gifts, they don’t care about these special gifts anymore, as they go their ways their children also go other ways. Our daughters are precious, gold, diamond, special, unique, future and promising leaders of our society. Many daughters have been denied the opportunity, privilege and right they deserved from their parents, society and government at large. Reliance on government has not yielded anything good so it might just make things worse; therefore, parents as a primary, main or first teacher should take the caring and treatment of their daughters as a bundle.
If necessary and basic things are being given by parents to their daughters then all the stated above ugly scenarios will become minimal. In other words, giving our daughters qualitative training makes them promising leaders of this society. I believe the aforementioned problems can be reduced or overcome if parents can take note of the following things;
We all know that peer group plays a major role in influencing our children. Peer group is the number one influencer. They are even more important that the family. It is very pertinent for our parents monitor the movement of their daughters, whom are their friends? Are they responsible persons? Are they from good family? All these and other things should be taken into cognizance. Even if you have strong built-up background for your daughter but if she mingles with irresponsible elements then the strong background becomes a weak one because she will be influenced. We have heard and seen it a lot of time a daughter of rich parent moving around with harlot or thugs then what do you except from such daughter, positive or negative influences? Study those friends your daughters move with. Are those friends agents that would destroy the bright plans you have for your daughter? Are those friends agent of help that are compatible to your daughter’s mission and her to make her ambition come into reality?
It is also very pertinent to give your daughter sound and quality education. Spend whatsoever you have in the course of giving your daughter qualitative learning process. Take education as a priority for your daughter. It is a shame; many parents abort the dream of their daughters at tender age by denying them proceeding further into secondary school let alone tertiary institutions. Never deprive your daughter the right or opportunity to equip her with skills and knowledge. However, if you think as a parent that you can’t afford to send your daughter to tertiary institution at least secondary level education should be the minimum background for her and send her to any informal education (apprenticeship) to gain more skills. Education should not be only formal but also informal education is very important. No knowledge or skills acquired is a waste, kindly spend any dime on your daughter to give her the best you can. Note that, an idle hand is a devil’s workshop.
As said earlier that peer group plays major role in influencing our daughters. What peer group changes is the behaviour. A daughter with a good character can be changed if she mingles around with irresponsible friends. A saying goes thus; “bad company pollutes good habit” no matter on how better or beautiful your behaviour or character is, in as much as you fail to mingle with friends whose behaviours or characters are compatible with yours automatically there is a problem.
Behaviour is not only with peer group but also towards other people in the society. Train your daughter on to behave in the society; I believe the genesis of the behaviour of any daughter is from home. Our daughters start the learning process at home, whatever their parents exhibit at home will be part of them too. Many ladies today have taken the act of bleaching as the best way to beautify them all in the name civilization. Who told you black is not beauty? The best colour as far as I am concerned, black is the best colour. Sincerely speaking, many white men even cherish black race though some white nations feel somehow of our beautiful colour. Many young shall ladies think without bleaching you can’t be gorgeous and beautiful. Stop the act now, the repercussion will be worse than you think. God who created you with your dark complexion knows that is the best colour for you.
Societal living teaching is one of the trainings parent must give to our young lady. It is pertinent to teach them how to relate with people in the society, be it from the tribe or another tribe. Let them know we are the same; train them to see other people as their brothers and sisters. Teach them to desist from thinking of harming or disliking people around them. Another pivotal thing to teach your daughter is respect; train your daughter to respect other people in the society. Our ladies of this 21st century have taken pride as the cloth to brag and disrespect people irrespective of the person’s age. Things go wrong today in the society is as a result of lack of respect in the society. Society can be changed starting from your home, train your daughter to respect any person she meets in her journey of life irrespective of such person age, tribe or personality. Respect, the only solution to the global’s problems or challenges.
Religion is the bedrock of success in life. I believe religion is the basis of everything. All the afore-mentioned points above are embedded in any religion because religion teaches you how to live your life successfully. Religion tells you how to live in the society, how to relate with others and the way to behave. Train your daughter the religion you practice right from his/her tender age. Let your daughter knows the basis of your religion and the ‘do and don’t’ of Almighty God. If our daughters are being trained the basis of the religion from home we won’t have been experiencing those ugly scenarios. Majority of these ladies don’t even realize that their deeds will be questioned by God in which they don’t even know there is reward for good deeds and punishment for wrong doing. Many ladies have taken sin as minor as anything, where is the fear of Almighty God? To our parent, train your daughter right from her tender age to refrain sinful acts. Another powerful tool many parents have failed to train these daughters is ‘prayer’. Let your daughter know prayer is powerful. Train them to believe in prayer as the most powerful tool to solve any problem. No doubt, religion is the background of everything.
With the points analysed above I think something good can be done to minimize this menace in the society. As a parent, ask yourself today what legacy do you want to leave behind for your daughter? Will your daughter be happy in future if she remembers the way you maltreated her and denied her the opportunity to be one of the successful leaders of the world? Being poor shouldn’t be an excuse at all, if I am not wrong majority of our leaders who ruled and still ruling this country even the world are from a poor home. Coming from poor home doesn’t stop you from achieving your dream my dear sister. Think twice, change your mindset this is not civilization it is called madness of the highest order. It is hightime you stopped living the way white men are living. God created each race with ways each race will be living so, don’t change what God has given to you.
In conclusion, it is crystal clear the society is facing many challenges. Aside the challenges facing the government we as citizens also compound and contribute to the complex world we are living. Parents are the solid pillar to change the society to better. Home is the primary agent of change. Home is the primary and source of solution of any society. When the home we see as the solution of any problem is now the problem then where to go to seek solution to save the world. I believe if our homes can solve some challenges facing the society the government will even have little thing to face.
I urge you dear parents; you are the only solution to the society’s problem. Give our daughters required, necessary and qualitative teachings to make them relevant and be solution providers rather than problems to be solved in the society. These female children are potential parents of tomorrow, if they are being trained no doubt they will also be good and potential home builders contributing immensely to the development of the society. Ask yourself, where are the potential women leaders of this society if things still remain as it is now? I believe we can have a better society, cultured society and great women leaders from this blessed country if necessary cautions are not thrown into the wind and a halt is put to our lackadaisical attitude about the affairs of these young to grow women leader and future mother.
To Download the PDF format of this book; DOWNLOAD HERE
To Download the PDF format of this book; DOWNLOAD HERE